MY ENDLESS THOUGHTS.... [entries|friends|calendar] ifaithful_mami [ website | ifaithful_mami ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[03 Oct 2005|10:52pm] [ mood | huy ] I dont even know. Been thinkin quite a bit lately. All it really is, is frustration. unnecessary frustration. Its like...when Im not too focus on the frustration that my parents give me...then comes in the frustration that my friends give me. the close ones. the ride or die chicc, the down ass bitch, the other half and the cuddie. yeah. dey be snappin. well at least- ANRINA forever snappin on me. She got me so pissed yesterday. So she gon come over right? And den still have the audacity to bitch at me about J. OK- yes I must admit, I am ALWAYS wit him. Its like- we're the next Hai/RT. For those that are single, u might see that being a bad thing, but for those who wanna b in a more committed relationship den u may be able to understand. U know. The reassurance, the love, the everything- its juss all given so right. And I dont wanna lose it for anything. Not sayin that I choose him over my friends. I dont. Its juss so diff. Cuz before, despite the fact that I was wit someone, say for instance lil Ricky, I was still able to do this n do that ONLY because we wasnt serious! Right? But wit me n J, its so diff. We are. Its like- god, my past comin bacc to me in a positive way. Im so happy =D But my friends always got shyt to say. I try hangin out wit dem, but our schedules be on opposite ends, and when I try to ask dem to come wit me, dey aint want to. Ok- so wat do u want me to do? I cant go kicc it wit u like I normally would cuz Im wit him. I cant try to hollah at anyone- I cant do this I cant do that. And ESPECIALLY when Im wit Chavanni/Anrina...dey forever tryna macc on someone even THO dey TOO have boyfriends. It aint no surprise wit Chavanni, I mean- she cheated her whole damn life. I aint tryna get lead down that route. But I would never anyways! ..I dont know why its so hard to fuccin balance this. I really dont. School/Work/Friends/Baby. WHy cant I handle that? *sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh Too much ppl snapp on me. Im so sorry. I dont mean to seem the way I appear to be. But- I dont know. Its so hard. I try. I really try but its like- regardless of what I do, nuthin will work and u all make me feel like I needa choose between my boyfriend or my friends. I shouldnt even have to feel this way. I should have the friends that understand where Im comin from. But nah- instead I feel like I gotta live my life in secrecy, lie about my whereabouts so noone trips. I cant say Im wit him cuz oh lord, all hell will break loose! I cant say Im on the other line wit him cuz no no, someone will buss a "How did I figure"? dont how did i figure me! urghhh post comment

[02 Oct 2005|12:04am] [ mood | ahh ] --work was horrible today. I just hate workin in customer service. its bs. i hate layaways. I hate goin to get it, tryna find it. I hate it all. My patience for my job is almost to that point where I can take no more. Like- it juss aint for me. But yeah. These customers were trippn cuz dey had ask me to put sum of their merchandise on hold but unfortunately I wasnt think'n, took their stuff, hung it and when I went to lunch...employees came to do department picc up n grabbed it all n placed it bacc. Den...the customers were crazyyyyy trippn. My manager gave em a discount but dey still wanted to nagg. God! Oh..and we had so many thieves today. it was insane. dey forreal ran out the store wit a big ol trash bag and my manager ran after dem n caught em- i think. then a while later, around 8? my manager Bill went outside and dey JUMPED him. 6/7 ppl. yup. I was about to cry tho because, I thought it was my fault, relatin to the incident earlier. And juss the fact that- RIGHT before he even went outside, he was like "Smile Soneta- the days almost over..." "Ur very valuable to us- We cant afford to have customers yell at you- so let them yell at us". And I swore we didnt get along. =/ But anyways.... ..hmm quicc review. Weds- wit J til...11? =D Thurs- worked 4-close Fri- got off school at 1:30? went to get checc/pump gas/go home n shower/den to grams/den to my baby's til 12? I felt so bad. All day long I was trippn on him. About every damn shyt. I think its almost that time of the month? lol. But Im sayin- its unnecessary to always snap on him, hes so gooooodd to me. das my baby. but i aint always like that- only when im frustrated as all hell. like when I think Im lost- stucc in traffic- my time is bein stalled. YUP. But I fell asleep around 9, and I told him to wake me up at 11:30 but he didnt cuz he fell asleep too and he didnt wake me up til 12 so I thought I was gon get in big trubbo by RT. But nah- not that big of a deal. Sat- worked, 1-close. After- I went to Wal-Mart to buy soap and all that stuff, spent 50 =D Oh yes, Im real independent now heheh im playin. But Im doin laundry and its late as hell to be doin it but quite frankly I dont give a damn cuz tomorrow is hw day AND I have to work SO YEAH. ---- Sun- 11-7 Mon- Be wit my baby. Yes- when am I not? Tues- Detention den work- 5-close Weds- 4-close Thurs- Be wit him. Fri- 4-close. Yes. Its a busy life. But he makes it all better. Its so funny- he looks like an oompa loompa right now cuz he had to get his 4 wisdom teeth pulled out and his face is real swollen. I was clownin heheh. --- I know, at times...it may seem like I dont appreciate him but little do anyone know because I really do. Im very grateful. I wont ever find anyone to compare. Ive known that. Since I was 13. Things didnt go too well then but none of us was to blame. We makin it work now. And Im luvhin it. I needa show him. Hes my heart =D My baby. My joy. My pleasure nah lemme not hahhaha lol. post comment

My Novel [27 Sep 2005|09:11am] [ mood | yippie-- ] So on thurs....me/my baby, anny/her baby, julie/ricky went to watch Cave, it was gay as hell- Im tellin u. Again, I fell asleep on him. But he fell asleep too. After...we went to Mcds? Then to the park- I was freezn but it was fun being wit all. Piggybacc rides/dances in the park. Juss like old times. Fri..after school, me&cray went to grab my checc then went shoppn for an hr? Surprisingly I only spent 60 sumthin on 2 cropped jackets. I love em, dey hott =P Den after worked til close =*( Sat...Worked the whole damn day. Sun...again WORKED, open TO close! And...after, laundry/cleaned room/hw Mon...had a Drs appt. so decided to tell the rest of the posse to pull skippay. Yeah...shudnt have but did anyways =) It was me/my baby/julie/anny/phuoc/phuong. I had to go grab him when there was mad traffic. It was crazy. And I had to go pump my gas so time was stalled like all hell. Im tellin u! Poor baby, had to suffer for an hr+. But its ok- I made it up to him aheh heh =D *ahem* Den we met up wit Anny/Phuoc/Julie...we went to eat breakfast at MCDS...den to Phuocs...den to my Drs Appt went me/him/julie. Baby was waitin for me in the wait room for almost 2 hrs. Im so sorry =/ I had to get my female physical yeah...we gon leave it at that. All I know is I was harrassed and violated hahahha nah Im kiddn. But yeah den I had to get my mantoux watever test for nursing class. That shyt- nonononono. A bubble formed outta nowhere, it looked so nasty like a- science experiment. But it went down within 20 mins so Im good, no tuberclosis. After that, we grabbed Phuong and all went to Phuocs. Chilled there for an hr? Then had to drop Anny bacc home, den we went to eat at Cheng Heng. After that...I had to dropp my baby bacc, traffic was jammed pacc like a muthafucca. I mean- whewww lordie lord, I could not move my vehicle in the direction I wanted to go. So then- I decided I wasnt gonna go to work, call in sicc cuz uh uh there was no way in hell I coulda made it bacc to Coon Rapids, to change n everything at home AND THEN drive 10-15 mins to my work cuz yanno there b traffic at 4. So I did juss that but Danyelle [my manager] is now makin me work TODAY! aint that a bitch? dey swear dey aint lettin noone take a day off. hmm...so me n him chilled at the crib until his sister/cousins called for us to go eat wit dem at the great moon buffet. there we went again. it was fun tho. i feel so bad cuz he pays for everything IM TELLIN U. my baby....I MISS HIM! After that went to chill bacc at the crib for another hr den got home around 11? yes yes...I love it how my daddy dont b trippn bout my wherebouts lately. cuz...iono...im juss doin my own thing, im...INDEPENDENT =) feels good. not always but...dependin on urself is better than havin to depend on anyone. k...so...umm....i dont know. but what im tryna say is....im gettin reall fuccin sicc of ppl. more n more each day...i get irritated by these CERTAIN ppl. its like- dey always on my ass tryna yell at me for dumb mess sayin im bogus and so on n so on. How Im really seein it- is ENVY! Or to be mean, I can say Jealousy. But Im not gonna be mean- and Im juss say U ENVY. OR YA'LL ENVY! How many times must I say "Jealousy is not the answer" god. And I fuccin hate greedy ass mothafuccas. Who are so inconsiderate. And den...dey wanna question me about why I dont kicc it wit dem often? well...i cud list a thousand and one reasons, but Im not gonna get into that so watever. And pleaseee dont fuccin think just cuz im wit J, Im actin up. its not even that. On my life it aint. Im not thinkin Im all superior or better or bad juss cuz I have him. I dont think like that. But when ppl say dumb shyt to me- Im b real quicc to snapp bacc. And me n him- we go bacc...so, u can imagine how I feel for him. Its like- 13 all over again. He was my first PUPPY love AND my first heartbreak. I never felt so deep for anyone at the time. It took me over a year to try to move on. How many guys did it take for me to let him go completely? a lot until I bumped into Ricky. Ricky was the only guy that took my mind off of him. And now it seems like vice-versa. My feelins for J- quickly regained itself. So dont say shyt to me! its not like I found some random ass guy n fell for him den drifted away from my friends. no! I try my best to make freetime for yall too but it never works. ANd when me/him is around other ppl we seem to always argue. Its weird. Not always, or badly argue, but something always go a lil wrong. Ok- fucc it. Im let it all out right now. SO why I dont like to kicc it wit Julie when Im wit him? Because! I sense the hurt julie feels. Its like- she would want to be wit a guy badly. And I hate havin her feel like that. Then she seems to get fuccin pissed at us cuz yanno...theres me/him and then there phuoc/anny. Her and phuong aint shyt. Phuong is deeply in love wit Rochelle which is hard to believe but yes, Im dead serious. Nigga is actually committed. And I know she wants to be wit him again badly, tho she may deny it, I know she do. Its about to hit fall again and watch her get all these flashbaccs. I feel bad but what can I do? try to hook her up wit someone? wit who? these cats aint good for her! and I dont like feelin like she wants/needs a guy so bad. cuz she dont. she really dont. Honest to god, I wouldnt have gotten wit ANYONE! I wasnt suppose to, I wasnt plannin on it. But its like ur ex from the past u know? So...yeah. Mm- basically what Im tryna say is...when me/j are together around Julie...we make her feel...stressed. yeah- there we go. And den i get mad at her when shes so inconsiderate. she never thinks of the hassle I go thru tryna make things work so we all can hang together. Cuz, quite frankly, i dont care. I mean I want us to hang out but if u piss me off, I aint gonna wanna hang wit u. BUT Im not gonna go in-depth on that so mm yeah. My situation wit Anrina. Shes always pissed when Im with him. But I know damn well and good, if D was available as J always is, shed always be wit him too. But fact of the matter is he aint always available, boy always busy. or so it seems. So u know, its ridiculous to get mad at me about. And den she was trippn yesterday cuz I skipped w/o askin her. Um ok- would u have skipped anyways? cuz she always one against it. is her/chavanni not the one who always bitch at me for skippn? damn I swear I be gettin too mad lately. And she tripps cuz I never invite her to go places wit me n my boyfriend. But hmm- so lets see, would u like to be a 3rd wheel, I dont like makin ppl feel like an extra wheel, but would u like to be one? orrrrrrrrr is D not always busy? orrrrrrrrrrrr Do u not work? orrrrrrrrrrr DO u not have a curfew? yeah. right. exactly. shut the hell up! See when Im with him, Im wit him for the whole day almost. I dont think anyone would like that, andddd plus we're real PDA. too much affection. but hey hey das my baby =) And den theres the ppl at school. Its like- how I view school right now is- get to class/do hw/ das all there is to it. I need to be more focused on the necessary. And its unnecessary to chit chat wit schoolmates when I could be in class doin hw or makin sumthin up. SO dey be like-Sonetas too good for us or dumb shyt like that. And she cant say hi or shes shady. I dont know. Juss dumb shyt. Why she so shady now? My god. ppl that pisses me off. But yeah...das the drama side of my life. crazy n tirin huh? juss dumb bullshyt all the time. So...I cudnt find a parkin space at school today, so me/cray went bacc home. We goin to Anoka-Tech but we still have like 2 hrs. Yes...Im very no no no. Today- I work 5-close Tomorrow- Ill be wit him Thurs- I work 4-close Fri- Ill chill wit the posse Das my plan. Daddy/Stepmom leaves to France on Thurs. Deyll be gone for a whole month. I doubt Ill get the place to myself...maybe sometimes. Im not shure. Rt/My big bro dont wanna drive bacc n forward, gas b expensive. I hate gas. I have to pump premium for my dumb car. But yeah. Lemme be out. I juss wrote a novel hahah =P post comment

[21 Sep 2005|11:18pm] [ mood | yeaaaa ] Lordie lord. Todays weather was like- all hell broke loose. I worked today and around 7, the clouds startin lookin all eerie, then rain started pourin like fucc, i ran to my car and rolled up my windows, talked to my baby at the same time [ i was on break ] I was so fuccin scared Im tellin u. Then we [everyone at the mall] had to seek shelter. They told all employees to go to receiving, which we did and everyone took out their cellfone...started hittin up the loved ones. It shure did killed alotta time tho, we was juss chillin. But I was pissed cuz I wanted to go home so fuccin bad. It wasnt even funny. We didnt get released til 9:30? I drove home and talked to him at the same time, he was tryna comfort me cuz I was scared as hell. Im tellin u- I drove through wave pools, meaning my car went for a swim. Im dead serious. I got so scared cuz it felt like I was underwater and shyt. And the entrance to my place...whew...water was so fuccin high cuz its kinda like a hill...i had to reverse uh uh fucc all that but tell me why I bumped right into a telephone pole, my ass! I know I know but Im sayin. Shyt was crazy. Rienny was at my house, cuz a lil earlier before I got home- she was cryin hysterically cuz she was in BP/Minneapolis and I guess shyt was real crazy down there...but she came to my place and stayed wit my parents til I got home. Now she sleepin over. She nocced out now. But yeah. Things have been goin crazy between us. Actually- between me and all my close friends. I guess...dey feel neglected. They probably have a right, but omg. Can any of you see it from my point of view? Life is hard when u have to balance so many shyt. U got school, u got work den u got a boyfriend? Someone whos serious. Not a jokin nigga. No! Im tellin u- all my fuccin frens b snappin on me lately. Talkin bout u only got time for dadadadada...its always about him n so on n so on. We always arguing, its ridiculous. Dey always gotta say sum shyt about my baby. But whatever. I try. Or...Im tryin ok? I really am. Im try to make this work so everyone can have a piece of Soneta. hahah Im kiddin but forreal tho, I feel like everybody tryna fit their ass on my busy ass schedule. its crazy. So anyways...lets quickly review what I did this week so far. Mon- after school, Chilled at his place...tried doin hw but no! ahahh and we went to watch the Exorcist whatever. Omg, that movie is so fuccin dumb...I forreal fell asleep! got home around 10? Tues- after detention..went shoppin wit Lynn/Julie at Rosedale. got home around 9/10. Weds- I worked...4:30-close -- And now...thurs...I guess its gon b a triple date. Me/him, Julie/Ricky?, Anny/Phuoc. Iono what we watchin, wanna watch Crywolf but ppl sayin its dumb. so I DONT KNOW! Fri- work 4:30-close Sat- 1-close Sun- 10-close Mon- 5:30-close yeahhhh dey sure as hell be snappin off on my hours. Who told dem to make me work so damn much? I got tues/weds/fri off....yall already know where Im b at ahaaaaaaaa. Im kiddin gosh. Im make time for the rest of u too =P post comment

[17 Sep 2005|11:51pm] [ mood | ZZZZZ ] QUICK REVIEW Mon/Tues- chilled but iono wit who and where...Im tellin u, slowly I age. Weds- worked, 5-close Thurs- detention/shopped/his house Fri- worked, 5-close/ met up wit julie and phuong..headed down to my babys...didnt know what to do..so dey left while me and him had to settle our differences...not differences but what he was so upset wit me about. I found it so damn stupid cuz I told him over n over n over...none of the shyt he thinks negatively affects our relationship actually matters. I mean Im wit you- Im wit u. I cud give a fucc less about another nigga. Tho it may seem I talk to this person n that but no baby...my feelins for you are sinkin, I told u. Our history together is actually a good thing because so quick we was to regain old feelings. But babe, trust is key to a relationship. No doubts. I miss you! And only you. I promise!! Anyways...as I was tryna write...we talked it out, u know, had our lil sensitive awkward moment but we're good =) I got home around 1. Moving on... Work, whewww...no no no. Work was crazy today. Who told dem to put me in customer service? Ive never worked customer service and its more difficult than it actually seems. Cuz 1- layaways 2-returns 3-exchanges. Ive never had to do any of those before. But I learned today and its fine...I guess but NO. I hate customer service. Customers were workin my EVERY nerve. I got in to it wit this vietnamese family because NO, dont come at me like u know so much more...and den...at the end, dey felt real damn stupid. Talkin bout "Oh- I so sorry" urghh juss get out and leave. And den there was all these kaprich ppl and their $300.00+ layaway shyt. I was like OMG....and the line juss never seemed to end, it extended all the way into COATS! and...customers were gettin so damn angry talkin all this shyt bout the store and the employees...I was ready to set it off. Im not jokin. Anrina knows! She was tryna help me too. Migraine Im tellin u. God, Im sicc of workin, I mean its fun- meetin/seein all these new faces...wit ppl always tryna get at u n wat not but Im sayin- they got me on crazy hours. Im glad as all hell I only work 4 days a week but I mean- no. I work the whole muthafuccin weekend. Its not even funny. Dey had me work til close on a FRIDAY...and today 1-9:30. Tomorrow...11:30-6:30...meanin I dont actually get off til..7? urgh. Headache. So Sunday- after work, I think Im juss gonna relax...laundry, clean room, my 1-pg hw...do my hair? Yeah I think so. And den I have my Mon/Tue off...Im go over to my babys and possibly kicc it wit the STP folks...iono, havent seen Anny in a minute tho. My cuddie. Weds- work 4:30-close Thurs- my babys Fri- 4:30-close I told u dey snapped off. I better have the 30th off. On my life! I told Mary that, I need to request it I think. But I swear to godd! Can someone tell me why Im always frustrated wit my parents? Dey juss urghhhhh. Im independent. Yes I am. Im mad cuz my WHOLE family was here today and I was busy working. But tell me why my brother called trippin because he left Prestons Dumbo [elephant] here? hahah I was like- awwww my nephew I miss him so much. I love his dumbo. Im gonna sleep wit it TONIGHT! hmm....can the weather make up its mind? I mean- one day itll be cold as hell den the next u be sweatin like fucc. Nonononono. And den...Im so damn confused on what clothes I should be buyin...sweaters? or summer/spring like clothes? My god...anyways wow...I get tired so fast now =/ I need to go to sleep soon, I feel too sleepy to call him bacc. lol. but im not gonna play him bogus- cuz he will get mad over lil things! ...let us enjoy life while we can huh? Its pretty bomb right now, the only damn thing that frustrates me is my parents. I juss dont know why, but dey do. I love my school...classes are bomb as hell. My nursing- its so fun. It balances out perfectly wit english/modern global. My work- fun too, can b tiring but Im still always clownin there wit Courtney. My relationship wit him- I cant ask for better, Im bacc wit my first puppy love =P Um...yeah, das about it I guess. But Im sayin- it dont get no better ^_* post comment

[11 Sep 2005|11:31pm] [ mood | SIGH ] So...Im so sorry...to all I told I would no longer skip for dumb reasons..but Im tellin u "It was for a good cause". My stayin home prevented me from deckin someone at school hahah. Im playin. But yeah I was too damn frustrated wit my whole current situation. My parents nonononono. I didnt go on Thurs..daddy found out but ONLY about Thurs so he wasnt all pissed. But then...Fri I went, Sandy did her usual routine wit me, except this time she filled my dad in on all other days Ive missed. And yeah. She gave me OSS and 2 detentions. Homie was on tripp mode. Fri...right after school, Me/Chavanni/Anrina/Cray went to Riennys house. CHilled there for a while, then went to get my check...den shopped for a lil bit at the mall. Dropped Cray bacc. We was juss doin random ass things, some visitn, some cruisin but I did not go home til 9 from the time that school let out. AND I DIDNT GET IN TRUBBO, so weird because I thot I was in big big trubbo because I got busted. But nah uh. My parents aint even get home til...1? And I was nocced out that being I had work the next day. Sat- Omg, Im losin memory. Oh yeah...I talked to my baby most of the time...not that das something diff. but yeah...and we did our hw. hey hey. see- im learnin to balance things. Sun- =) I saw my babyyy. I went to see him in the bright break of dawn. Lol. God, hes retarded...he made me talk to his parents and omg. I was too scared. But they're really nice. Like usual, he pumped my gas. Im tellin u- my baby...he got it all. All my friends, Im tellin u- I MEAN ALL MY DAMN FRIENDS was lookin at my fone, passin it around like damnnnn hes fione as HELL, n dadadadada. Dey was warnin me like- watch out for that one, he bound to get snatched. Yeah cuz u know...He juss look good wit his caps. And den add the sunglasses, my baby look like a celebrity. Dey was like- why he look like someone off of B2K- Raz B/J-Boog Mixed. Im like UH NO. Do not stare too hard child. But yeah. I went over to his house. We was tryna watch Menace to Society but that didnt go to well. Right after that, I had to rush my ass right bacc to work. Wit a damn passionate mark. Yeah, Shane gave me that word. Dey caught me at work, looked at my neck like damnnn he left u a passionate mark. Im like helll nah. Concealer dont be workin =/ But I never got busted by my parents, Im tellin u...SONETA is TOOOOOOOOOOO slicc aha! Um got off of work at 7? Dropped Courtney off and den called Jevonne bacc...went to visit him/CJ. I love Jevonne. Hes juss tight as HELL. But u know...we was chit chattin, I left around 8. Came home and realized...I dont have school tomorrow cuz OSS. So no. But Im still goin to the Tech. I DONT CARE. ANd tell me why I was late on Friday. A whole damn hr. I swear. Nursing Class is very serious. Its the jumpstart to my future career. Im tellin u. But yeah Clinicals comin up. Eww...old ppl, I am not cleanin them. Man- No goin out this friday. I forgot to tell my baby- I work 5-close urghhhh. But Sat. For certain. After work of course. I wanna watch...alotta movies actually =P September 11th....2005...LET IT BE KNOWN NURKER! Omg...I really miss kiccin it wit Owen and dem. Why must things end this way. That boy is so funny. He was like- dang u take forever and two days to write ur thoughts hahah hell nah. But ok. So lemme be done. Wait- I gotta go to the school in the early mornin still for my hw I think. urghhhh irritation. post comment

[07 Sep 2005|11:23am] [ mood | huyy ] Damn, so I guess School wont be that irritating after all. I only have to be there for 2 periods and I dont even leave the house til...7:30. SO I am good. I think Im gonna isolate myself from everyone this yr or at least just 1 sem. cuz I dont wanna get too caught up in anything and because all I shud care for is my baby right? I miss him so much. I hate this. I mean- Im juss, omg...at first I really cud careless about him, but now its like 13 all over again heheh. But watever. Its all good. Second time around huh? But anyways...my god, I went to school not really givin a damn. I didnt even chill in the hallway. I actually went straight to my classes and got whatever I was missin from yesterday. Im very proud of myself heheh. Das how its gon be. Im gonna try to not talk to anyone. Im just really occupied this year...with School and then work and then him. Its like- k das enuff u know? But I can do it. Juss need to lay down a cuppo rules for myself. 1- Since I have about an hr before Tech then I can use some of that time to do hw. And since I get off at 2 instead of 2:25...I can do hw right away then too before work. But I think on weekdays Ill only work 3 days a week. And Ill talk to him on break and when I get home. ... We can chill on the weekend. sounds like a plan aye? hehhe uyyyyy I miss him. Im not suppose to. Hes so sweet tho. And I cant believe at one point of my life- boy was everything I ever wanted. yupppp. I hate that feelin when u see them for days straight then all of a sudden ur not for a cuppo of days. My heart then juss seems to ache. But Im fine. I was with him Sun/Mon/Tues. =*( I cant see him til Friday. ai yi yi. My babyyy. Im juss sittin here eatin Ice Cream. Bout to leave to the Tech now. I know I have to take 10W but I might get lost. Let us hope not. Oh yeah...my "luggage" got jammed today and a part of it got cut off. But ppl was tryna help and there was no other choice =( Yay..dont work today or Friday hey heyyyy. But tomorrow AGAIN 5-close. It aint too bad. post comment

[05 Sep 2005|10:27pm] [ mood | ai yi yi ] *sighhhh all the frustration of today. Damn she snapped. Riennys mad cuz I aint goin to school tomorrow. My goodness. Well...we're [Me/Him/Julie/Penguin] skippin...theres never anythin on the 1st day anyways, am I not right? Gosh I swear- this year I will b focus, its juss...you know...1 oppurtunity, u take it! But...yeah, so I guess, shes gon call me at 5:20 cuz we [Me/Jhentell/Rienny/Deveion] are goin to eat breakfast at 6! My god. I love Rienny, I know she juss tryna watch out but...I got this, dont worry k? So after that, Im gon meet up wit him/Julie/Penguin. Oh lord here goes more gas lol. So...Statefair didnt work this year...yuppp I dun really care cuz alotta folks is tellin me it was whack so watever. So on Sat...what the hell did I do? I was in STP doin laundry, that I know...but yeah. Sun- was suppose to go Clubbin...attempted it wit J and Julie but dey aint let us in cuz it was overpacced. J was omg, he prepped out =) I was real proud of him tho cuz I was forreal yellin/threatenin him to not wear his usual thuggish gear and he listened =) Good boy hehhe. Cuz Ive always wanted to go to some type of a dance wit him...so yup. But he nonononono, was not lookin correct. No headband, No cap, No forces? Are u serious? But it was all for me so watever. But after that club incident...we cruised alot! But eventually met up wit Will and den we went to eat at Perkins around 12/1? Yeah...den dropped Julie off...I needed him to sleep over cuz I didnt wanna b home all alone...my parents went to South Dakota so yeah. But shoo hahah we was chillin. I was with him for 24 hrs! =) aint that somethin? I got really emotional when we was readin his old letters he wrote to me. Its so sad. But no more worries on that huh? The thing I hate about him is he always feel the need to pay for every shyt! My perkins/mcds/gas...watever, he always pay. And we was bout to argue cuz he handed me a 20 for gas n I was like no, cuz I dont like takin things from ppl u know? Den he was like man Im gonna be mad if u dont take it n dadadadada. =/ I miss him, hes so sweet. Hes like this- thuggish gentlemen. He was scared I was gon get lost on my way bacc and he forreal was thinkin up 100 and 1 ideas for me to get home safely. But he called his dad anyways not carin whether he was gon get in trubbo or not [which he didnt =) ] and got directions for me. He talked to me all the way til I got home =*( Hes so carin. Im juss still- feelin a bit strange due to our history together =/ But in time, Ill look pass it all right? Well...I was really frustrated, my dad called me at 8:57 tellin me to go home cuz he needed to talk to me. I didnt know what about...I mean, it cuda been 1- I lied about goin to work today, I skipped work tho I was scheduled =/ Bad bad. 2- I told him I was gon go to statefair wit the brothers but didnt and mainly chilled wit J and in between Julie. 3- Maybe J left something at the crib? I know he left his damn shirt, but its juss cuz he gave it to me to wear at night hhehe 4- Im always out? shoo- I juss didnt know! I didnt know. But I was so scared to go home man. I mean- I got marks on my neck and I aint tryna get in trubbo and no damn concealer covered it, its so dark. And I didnt wanna have to face my parents for a long period of time for they might detect the love bites. whew. But shoo- I was smart. Bent my head down the whole time tryna make it seem like Im sorry for whatever. Yeah...I got a lecture because apparently from what my daddy calculated I spent $700.00 in two weeks. I was like well- I buy alotta clothes...and all type of unnecessary things. And I go out. And I pay for gas. And...yeah. But he juss mad cuz I aint never save and he dont want me walkin down the same path as my brother who always buy unnecessary things. HIM AND MY MOTHER. But whatever. Talked for 30 mins on all that financial shyt. But I got this, no worries k daddy? Huy. Well...lemme be out. I told him I was gon call him after my lecture...hes gon think I got in big big trubbo *yikes. I work tomorrow at 5-close man I hope I aint in trubbo, I didnt even call in or anythin fucc! post comment

[02 Sep 2005|10:43pm] [ mood | hey hey ] Um..lesson learned for the ppl I was bitchin at today.... DONT EVER IN UR DAMN LIFE RUSH ME! hahha whew. I snapped off today. I feel so bad =/ We was in Wet Seal n I was yellin at Thanh, at the same time talkin to Johnny, at the same time tryna ring up my purchases....den Thanh wanted to Rush me. NONONONONO. Never Ever Ever! I yelled at him in front of the whole damn store n dey was all laffin den the employee grl is gon b like "Awww ur so cute" I was like- her stupid ass. How is that cute wen Im screamin at the top of my damn lungs? My goodness. I aint never been so DAMN irritated in my whole entire life. I swear. I was bitchin like all hell today. NO ONE never seen me like this- Im tellin u. But Thanh I am so sorry for how I acted. I know. I was a BITCH...but my god, Im extremely sorry. So it was our Grand opening today. Not a damn thing went right. TO start off with, Mother Nature took over and nonononono, it was so urghhh...and my stepmom was takin eternity to bring clothes for me to change into. My feet was hurtin like a bitch in boots. My god! I was in em from 9-6:30. Yeah...they shure did make me work an HOUR later than what I was scheduled. But I like bein a cashier. Its better than anythin else there. Today I saw Cordeirro, Porsha, Bobby, Katie...Thanh. Oh lord. lol. His ass. My god. I specifically asked him to come at 1, if he cant make it den, den dont come at all. When I need u and need u for one reason only, the time that I told u to come is the only damn time I will be needin u! Simple as that =P But...yeah. I have Sunday off =) yippieeee clubbn time. Lemme rocc my 2-piece for ya aheh heh. But hmm...so after work, I went home wit Thanh and then to Rosedale. Went to Herbergers, grabbed my DKNY undies and sunglasses =) And then...Wet Seal...got 2 jeans, 1 sweater and 5 thongs. Lol. Shoo. But yeah. I keep buyin sweaters and it aint even COLD yet. My god. But I love roccin sweaters, its so cute =) Surprisingly, I have over 100 left =O I thought I maxed out my check like last time. But hey hey. hehhe. I think Im go pierce my cartileges tomorrow...or should I wait? I dont know. But uyyyyyyyy So work again tomorrow. Work is kinda...excitin now. U never know who youll see...yanno? And *sighhh =) I really wanna see Mr.Italian. I talked to his fren today =P His fren is cute too. He was like, why n dadadadada... he kept smirkin...thinkin I like his damn friend. But whew. Boy I would love to tkae u to the club =P ahehhe. K Crays here. Peace. post comment

I cant believe its already September =O [01 Sep 2005|10:55am] [ mood | yippie ] ...urgh, I hate it when I wake up early on my ONLY days off. My body, does not like to sleep in no more. I cant even sleep past 10. Ai yi yi. Man...why julie gotta work today? On my only fuccin day off. She workin both her jobs. Long ass hours. Whew. I want her to go shoppn wit me but NO! Oh well. Ill have to go wit Daddy den. Hes payin =) --The sun is so pretty. But...why does it always make me wanna cry? Like- I get these flashbaccs, of better fun times. *sigh, sometimes...I really wish I could juss....go bacc. I had this really random dream about...him. Im not sure what it was, maybe he got a job close to me? Iono...but in it we was all koo n talkin u know? But- whatever, let me not put my mind to it. Anyways...this morning is actually the FIRST TIME my father spoke kind words to me in so long. Yup. Ever since Miss Stepmom saw Daniel she swear hes my boyfriend and shes so fuccin annoyin. My god. NO NO NO. Daniel is my number one nurker. And ONLY that, trust! And as far as Im concerned...I aint attached to any one else. AM I NOT the one that say to every DAMN nigga "Um- can u POOF and BE GONE"? hahaha. Yeaa...my lil smart mouth. I kept sayin that to bay bay and he was gettin a lillll angry hehhehe. Whew. Niggas make me laff. But yeah. I cannot lie. Im hungry for some italian...right about now. aheh heh. If ya know what I mean. Yanno? *wink wink heheh ...My jam right now is "Cum grl, Im tryna get ur *bleep* wet Work that, lemme see u drip sweat" Whewww das my lil jam. My other jam "Is ur man, on the flo, if he aint, lemme know lemme see if u can run it run it Grl indeed I can run it run it" heheh Ok. Lets go do something das actually beneficial to our lives. Peace Peace. post comment

FUCC WHAT THE WORLD THINKS....ITS ALL ON ME =P [31 Aug 2005|11:59pm] [ mood | JOY ] Whew. So I worked 13.5 hrs today. Man oh man. Das crazy. How is it that I work more hours than the amount of hours I actually get to sleep? no no no. Das not how it works. But I was only suppose to work 12 hrs [9-9] but den I got stucc wit the Top Dawgs I mean TOPP! We talkin Regional/District Manager. So there was no way in hell I was gon fucc up anything yanno? But it was good as hell today. I didnt have to work in receiving at all really....=) First I had to work the watch stand. 1000 and 1 watches, Im tellin u. I worked at that very same place from... 10-8? whew. Long as hell. And throughout all that I was workin the role of a DAMN security guard. All the managers told me to check everyones bagg as dey left the store and to also locc/unlocc for employees. AND EMPLOYEES ONLY. I was gettin too irritated because dumb ppl are so illiterate. Dey swear dey cant read. It clearly states on the fuccin door that... "We are not open until friday, which would be the Grand Opening but if you want you can come to the soft opening Thursday". So many ppl kept comin in n over n over Id have to tell em "Sorry, we're not open until tomorrow". My god. But after that I had to put the wallets on display. I did a lot of decorating today which is pretty fun. Better than workin in the bacc man. I hate it I hate it. Im so happy Im a cashier. And den I did alot of reorganizing/decorating the accessory department wit the TopDawgs. Yes I am proud of myself. SHoo. We all know. Im a trooper heheh Im juss playin but forreal tho all the damn co-workers were huggin/hi-5in/commentin me on that. I was like yeaaa boy. 3 strait days of hard labor- whew. I need to hugg myself. I dont work tomorrow. Thank heavens. No, Im serious. Thank u so much. I cudnt do it if I worked tomorrow. But I work... Fri 9-5:30 Sat 9-5:30 Sun 10-6 But Im strait. I will actually enjoy work more when I work the register and the store is finally open. I lost my timecard and for the past week Ive been typin in my pin number which consists of more than...10 numbers? And I memorized the damn number. Aint that something? 010000936643 yeaaaa boy. *ahem... I needa quickly file exempt cuz NO tax is crrraazzyyy. Oh yeah...can u believe the gas prices? 2.99 oh lordie lord, dey snapped OFF. And why must the gas prices go up just when Im gon have to start payin for my own gas? Das some bull aint it? Urgh I swear... 3 bucks for gas...no one would ever b ballin enuff to deal with that. But whatever. So Tomorrow... --Relax and put my body at ease --Get bacc at some ppl --Go shoppn wit daddy...I need work clothes =/ And yeah....Friday Im suppose to go to Moe's shyt wit Chavanni n dem iono. We'll see. But I really need to go dye my hair again, yeah I want it lighter..cuz I mean its light but I always put mousse in my hair n it gets dark yanno? And I wanna pierce both my cartileges friday. Ai yi yi...and I needa try n save some money...juss for emergency needs. But den I needa grab some more clothes if I can...juss to last me for the first 2 weeks of school. This paychecc wont b BIG cuz I only worked...40 hrs last week. But NEXT weeks pay shud be UH OH! hahah. SO whatever. Saturday...I guess the fam is goin to Statefair. My brother called me and said dadadadada. But yeah Im down to go wit dem. I really dont care cuz...hahah I juss cud careless about anyone right now. But I miss my family. Das where my heart is. I aint seen RT in a minute. I seen the oldest last weekend so its koo. But yeah. Being wit them...all of em at the same time brings the biggest smile to my face. Das what I can truly call JOY. Prestons birthday is on the 26th. My lil nephew turnin One. UH OH =) Monkeys birthday aint til Oct 27th. I miss my lil king kong in destruction. I gotta do something real nice for him. post comment

[29 Aug 2005|10:02pm] [ mood | *sigh ] My god. I never worked so damn long. 12 hr shift. 9-9. whewww dey snapped off. My pay period starts on Sat and ends on Fri. And on Sat I only worked 4 hrs, when I was scheduled 9-5:30..den Sun I aint go in at all. Shoo. No No No. I was scheduled 10-5:30. But yea. A break was really needed =) So..Friday after work, Me/Julie went shoppin at Rosedale [Herbergers/Gadzooks]. It was fun. Den we went to eat at Cheng Heng..saw Sinoun. We was suppose to meet up wit the Woodpecker/Penguin but I guess we took too long and dey left. Iono. But after...I chilled wit the fam in STP. I missed dem so much. My baby monkey. Oh especially. Sat...I didnt do nothin because my dad was on some other shyt. I swear I was pissed. Lately we juss keep arguin and arguin. Sun...Julie/Anny came to get me. We went to BP. Kicced it wit Bay Bay/Jevizzle/Lil Man/CJ. It was actually fun. But Jibe...hahhaha whew why I always got a comment for his ass? I mean- its not my intention to "CLOWN" on him but if u happen to b an easy target that day den boy TRUST I will say sumthin real smart regardless of who u r. He got mad cuz the first thing I said wen he came to me was "His nappy ass head" shooooo If u kno SONETA...den YEA I always have somethin to say. But I missed him. I mean he koo to kicc it wit. But me n him forever arguin. Its like uh DAMN. wen do we not? I try hard not too but he always gotta make me feel...irritated. Iono. I think its juss me. Guys have been irritatin the fucc outta me lately. I mean everyFUCCINguy. But..I got home around 11:30. Fairly early so Iono why my parents tryna say I was out past 1!?!?!? --Im so fuccin irritated wit my parents, I swear. I just OMG. Let me do me. Das all I ask. I know what Im doin. N dey swear Im up to somethin. TELL ME- WHAT THE FUCC AM I UP TOO? AM I TLAKIN TO ANY NIGGAS? UH NO. SO U SHUD B DAMN MUTHAFUCCIN HAPPY. MY GOD! Im good. I really know this time Im focus. Theres only 3 things on my mind...Work/School/Fun. What is fun? Kiccin it wit the homies. Keyword there is- "HOMIES" and yeah...ok...dey might not be females but and what? Like I sed before I aint got much female frens...dey run their mouth too much anddddd dey always like to run a competition. Aint nobody got time for that! *sigh. I swear. My frustratin ass life. So.... Mon 9-9 Tues 9-9 Weds 9-9 BUTTT Im try to get off early. Lets see what I can do. Cuz uh no. I AM NOT SuperWoman. AM NOT AM NOT. I think we have a quiet openin on Thurs den on Fri we have the openin...den Sat...is the grand. My Valleyfair plans are ruined =( But its koo cuz for shure Im goin clubbn Sun and StateFair SAT...juss plz plz plz lemme get off at 5:30! But anyways...tell me why I feel like I get harassed at work. Im dead serious. I tried lyin that I have a kid so deyll bacc off but nah. And den what I dont get is...I go to work wearin a big old plain t-shirt [daddys] wit some untight jeans. How is that attractive? I swear. PPL are weird. Urgh. So the 21 yr old kaprich, his ass...he gettin on my LAST damn nerves. He keeps askin to take me out to eat and what nott and den he wants my number so I sed it REAL FAST and I was like nope too bad, if u didnt catch it it aint meant for u. He thinks I got a really smart mouth. I was like u DAMN RIGHT! He was like but I like it. Omg. niggas are so retarded. tryna get at a 16 yr old? ru retarded? n den over n over he will tell me that mannn i would ask u out so quicc if u wasnt 16. Im like ok- but even if I wasnt 16 who sed Id get at U! hahaha. Urgh. The only guy I wud even CONSIDER talkin to is that italian boy. whewwwwwww. hahha Im hungry for italian. ^_* But all he do is steady stare at me. He wont approach me like that dumb one. That blacc dude omg. Im like no. I hate the way u approach me, u come at me so incorrect. Who told u u was slicc? His dumb ass! And he got a friend name Kelvin. N omg. Hes so fuccin annoyin. SO today I needed help to find the nearest gas station and his ass suggested that he goes along. Im like ok whatever. And den, bein the dumb ass he is, when I was out tryna pump MY GAS because I KNOW HOW AND I AINT FUCCIN HANDICAPPED...right? well his ass, tried to be a "gentlemen" whatever...and got out n pumped it for me. It was makin noises n I was like wtf is that? Den he was like iono, its juss the machine. And time n time again I wud ask him...wth is that u kno? Until he realizeddddddd the gas was full because it started to leak. OMG. I WAS BITCHIN. ITS NOT A JOKE. DONT GET ME HEATED. I juss hate him so much. He always try to talk to me and hes juss eew. Like last time I wanted to go to the BR but I wasnt sure if i cud den his dumb ass was like...do u want me to take u? I was like UM...AM I HANDICAPPED? Den Owen started laffin. N I was like god ur ughhh. ..I have sympathy for lil Owen. That lil lamb hahha lemme stop. I know he still likes me n it must b hard to see other guys try to get at the one u like yanno? He forever starin at me and whoever n i juss feel so bad. But Owens koo as a homie. Im juss tryna keep it that way. Well...Crizzles here. Lemme b out. Peace. post comment

[25 Aug 2005|11:33pm] [ mood | chillaxinn ] Goodness. I have some craccheaded friends hahha. But yeah. So today after work...my phone was non-stop ringin right? And I was juss omg. Like- why the whole world decide to call within a 30-min period? nonononono. And I juss got off of work. Lookin like hell done broke loose. Daniel wanted to chill so he came over. And *ahem* ANRINA called me...said she was comin over. SO the 3 of us chilled for a while. Drove around went to Riennys. Den Dan Dan left...me/Rienny went to BP for the hell of it. Got some Mcd's cuz I was cravin for it like mad. I thot we was gon see D but guess we didnt. But we was wild'n in that car. And we saw 3 light skins- I was like UH DAMN. hahha tryed to speed up, but tell me why he had roses right? So I was like hell nah- he got a GRL. awwwww das so cuteee. But yeah... I had a talk wit my parents today. I feel like I give em so much BS. Not BS but a harder time than necessary u know? So Im juss tryna cool it. Adjust this attitude that I copped ever since I started workin. The attitude- I just dont give a DAMN about anyone and Im tired! hahha. Yeah kinda like PMSIN everyFUCCINday. But nah Im good =) Um...so dey wanna wait until dey get bacc from France to get my car. =/ Yes Im upset but dey want me to have a good car not a cheap one and they juss want France outta the way since dey wont b here about a month. And Ill have to drive Stepmommys car. So whatever. I love my daddy. I need to stop actin like a bitch. I swear. PPL would kill to have my daddy. He calls me every mornin before work, make sure Im awake, I ate somethin, I have somethin/money to eat. U know? Things like that. And he tells me hes sorry- like its his fault Im workin but no, Im sixteen daddy, most kids work wayyy before me! And...den he tells me he loves me...and of course no matter how angry I am at the time, I say I love u too. See- me n daddy. Das all Ill ever need. But yeah. I thought school shoppin was gon b on me since we had made this agreement about how dey gon take care of every bill for my car but since I aint gettin my car till 2 months...den fucc that hahah. Dey have to help. Dey offered it so HEY HEY. Oh and dey leavin tomorrow to Wisconsin AGAIN, cuz daddy has a soccer tournament...yeah soccer maniac lol And I get the car for the weekend yeaaaaaaaa baby. And the crib to myself. So we good! Tomorrow... PayDay hey hey. hahha lets see how much I made. shooo =P I kinda love my job cuz its so interestin. Like everyday theres somethin new for me. Today the most talked of subject for me and my employees was "What Race Is Soneta" So I was like omg. kinndddaa irritated...but at the same time IM LIKE YEA I LOVE ME! Like always dey thought I was mixed. And this blacc dude whos 21, he juss walked up to me, asked me how old I was [16] den if I was mixed [No] Are u mixed wit Asian [I am asian] oh well DAMN. Ur pretty....and walked off. I was like thank u? hahhah shoo. I dont take compliments well. And then theres Alex...this seemingly young boy, everyone keeps tellin me he likes me, but I dont like him OF COURSE and he always come and find whichever work station im workin in...u know? And he does whatever I say..I mean UH DAMN, Im kinda bossy and...iono. But Im always tellin ppl to do this n do that n dey do it hahah. So hey hey. I got it like that. I was crazy slaccin today I aint do a damn thing for 8.5 hrs. lol. And then there was Enrique. Hes puerto rican. Hes 28 and he looks young but hes bigger...*ahem* but hes adorable....I mean I call him my hush puppy. hhehhe. He got the puppiest eyes. Its *awwwwww* He was tryna explain to me and everyone else that I look like this grl...some asian actor who apparently is my skin color and so on. He sed her name is Tiara Kiara some shyt...I waas like wtf? Aint no asian name Tiara Kiara! Ur dumb ass! Den he was like well u look like her and shes really pretty. Im like mmk- ur half ass compliment and walked away. But mm I need to stop talkin to the males there...I swear I was bout to get in trubbo today. Cuz every male that walked down my aisle pass me would stop and talk to me right? I mean every DAMN male exept that white boy who roccs hollister n all that crap. And the managers were steady starin at me n deyd repeatedly come n tell the guys to get goin n blah blah blah. Im like OH DAMN. But work is pretty fun =P Im tellin u...I dunno what ppl see because uh uh. Im dead serious about me lookin like catch me quick and throw me away wen I go to work. Its juss a whole nother Soneta. But- hey hey I guess Im take it as a GOOD THING =) --After work tomorrow...go get Jay? head down to STP...chill wit Aaron and den Woodpecker? Iono. But watever mannn I got the whip yeaaa BOY! post comment

[24 Aug 2005|10:40pm] [ mood | URGHH! ] Irritation. Why must I be so damn irritated wit everyone? My god. PPL are workin my last nerve. I was pissed at work because I had to do somethin I aint wanna do AND THEN the managers tried to pursuade me into stayin til 7....10 muthafuccin hrs! HELL FUCC NO. I said I wanted to at first but uh uh once the clock hits 5:30 I jet out that door and vrrooom vrrooom my asz home. Its not a joke. *sigh. And den after work there was daddy...who wen I called to INFORM him I was goin out tried to get smart wit me. NO! dont pull that shyt on me I work every fuccin day....and I feel like I aint been out in a while and he thinks I go out every day which I dont. But whatever so I snapped bacc and yeah. Frustration. I juss needed to get out. Den Me/Julie/The Penguin went to watch Skeleton Key....that movie...whewww its scary as hell. No No. I was too spooked. And den there was ANRINA. I think she set me off enuff today. Number 1 was this mornin...when she was talkin bout how shes mad cuz Deveion calls me and tells me how hes feelin about everything. Ok- U cannot get mad at me cuz 1- Im tryna help 2- He called me 3- We friends 4- U gotta trust. My god. Den she gon say some shyt like...well soneta...remember how D was datin Almarie and he would always call me n talk about their problems? So I was like- Ok, so wat u tryna imply? But whatever man. And den she got mad cuz I tell D everythin das goin on for her. My god. Im not tryna b the third person in this relationship but whats a grl to do wen the male n female of the relationship runs to her? urghhhhhh I cant help it. Im frustrated wit everything. I just dont know!!! AND DENNNNN she gon get mad at me just now cuz I told Owen that she told me what he said. Which was "Soneta who? I dont know no Soneta...Well un-invite her" Ok nigga so u is mad right? So i had to say sum shyt to him. No. Dun fuccin put on a front. U gon tell me that u aint mad n u understand n dadadadada but den behind my bacc the script is flipped? n TRUTH B TOLD IS u holdin a fuccin grudge against me? no my mouth does not close wen its necessary to keep goin. So dont try to say shyt to me. urghhhh im toooo fuccin irritated. And Anrina...ok...why the fucc is she mad for? I know its not only about this "OWEN" deal, who the fucc cares what Owen thinks....it has to do wit Deveion. I just know it. Das the fuccin reason why Im so pissed. shes juss so....cautious right now. Yeah das the word. Man watever. I told u. Females. Fucc it. post comment

[23 Aug 2005|08:46pm] [ mood | =P ] My mistakes By 112. =/ HMM.. When I listen to this song...I feel sympathy for him. Its so weird now. Ever since last thurs I think...das when he asked me out and I said "...Why you asking me now? Now is not a good time" we havent talked. I hate that shyt. It gets me angry. How u gon stop talkin to me just because I gave u an answer you dont want. Man- I swear. All guys be on the same shyt. Fucc all of you. Im forreal done. I mean can we all still maintain a good friendship? It is not that hard. Or do you hate me that much? I swear. Sorry juss dont do. And- no. I never ever go to a person first. U got me twisted bent inside out. uh uh. He juss stares at me. Out of anger? or out of distress? Shoo- at times where I juss feel the need to clown but hold myself bacc cuz I hate bein mean...he shud really thank me for it. Everytime I see him...I just wanna sing " I know you want me boy...I know you want me but I DONT WANT U, no I DONT WANT U, I know you need me boy, I know you need me but I DONT NEED U" hahah yeah that is bogus. But whateverrrrr. I feel somewhat bad...cuz ppl keep sayin Im triflin. Um and how so? His ass is triflin. He on silence mode now. We stranggerrrss. Its funny how when I talk to other males his ass b steady starin. And I juss wanna laff so bad. --Anyways...lets move on to a more meaningful subject. My car...is takin forever and a day to be found. I hate it. My level of patience is outta control now. I forreal b snappin at the parents so quicc outta anger. Im tellin u. Im sooooooooooooooooo ANXIOUS. juss meet me at 11:30, i love it wen ur talkin derrtay. hahah im kiddin. I hate drivin bugs bunny's car. Her shady ass. I swear to godd. Das exactly why ANRINA hit the bacc bumper and it got a cuppo scratches and she aint know. exactly why! But watever. I juss need a car. I dont care. Stop bein so picky about every fuccin car. I swear. I went wit dem yesterday n I was too irritated. I guess there was somethin wrong wit all the damn cars huh? My god. As long as I get from point A to point B without the car breakin down on me...and the look of it is decent den GET ME IT! Now my big bro is lookin for cars for me. He wants me to get an integra. Stick shift. I was like- mannn aint nobody tryna drive stick or else Id take daddys car. But the whole concept is...I need to start wit automatic. I mean- I know how to drive stick but I juss aint a pro at it. yanno? --Moving on...Schools coming up. The 6th. I had my schedule since July but yeah...I have to go to the high school for half the day [ 1st hr- English 2nd- Mod. Globe ] then the other half go to A-H for my nursing classes =) Yeaaa baby. See..my plan...once I get my nursing assistant job...which starts u at 10/11 an hr, My life will b bomb as hell. I dont know when I get the certificate tho. I called up the nursing home right by my place and yes dey do take 16 yr olds wit a nursing certificate so Im apply everrryyyyyyyyyyyyywhere. I even talked to my Doctor about it =D I cant wait for this school year to start....IM A JUNIOR!!! oh shyt. We gon be wild'n BELIEVE IT!!!! But after SCHOOL...most likely Ill have work. Better not be everyday. cuz the lord and everyone else knows SONETA can NOT handle that. School/HW and den WORK? nah uh. U got me fuhcceddddd Man- I just found out that the store will be openin on the 2nd... I wanted to take that day off to go to V-Fair...how does that work? Iono what my schedule will be tho...so lets not stress it. And the 3rd is our Grand Opening. The day I wanted to go to state fair. But aint nobody ever go till....night anyways right? and hopefully Ill get out by 6. I know my schedule isnt gonna b as hectic as it is now...I mean...it wont even b as flexible. But whatever. I just need to work there until my nursing certificate. I should of went into overtime today...but...the sun...was too beautfull...aint nobody wanna b workin. But what am I doin now? Not a DAMN thing. Juss tryna chill n relax the body. I wanna go outttt. But there is nowhere to go. =/ I miss some faces. It seems like everyone died or juss went their seperate way. And as for me...I feel like...Im too occupied wit work to even do anything. Das what I hate. I like bein so free but now...I got actual responsibilities. --MAYBE I SHOULD GO READ...LOL. YEAH I HAVENT OPENED A BOOK SINCE LORD KNOWS WHEN. post comment

[21 Aug 2005|06:00pm] [ mood | ahh--- ] I feel so...overwhelmed. =/ Huy Huy Huy...dont I just miss being a kidd? No worries. Not a DAMN thing to think about. ALL FUN. Well...startin from where I left off....and from what I can remember. I am slowly ageing...so bare with me. mm- man scratch that...all there is too it is...work AND chillin wit my close frens. But Thurs AFTER work- went to get Julie den went to Rosedale. Julie slept over. I was goin crazy...it felt like I aint have enough time to do SHYT! But we dyed our hair and for once it turned out pretty good. heheh. I didnt sleep til 2? ANDDD I had to wake up at 8. lord. For a 8.5 hr shift. *sigh...frustration. But anyways, after work Fri, my big bro and his fam stopped by before we left to Wisconsin. Julie had to stay at my crib for 9+ hrs ALL ALONE without her BEST FRIEND ehehhe...it was too sad. But I tried my best to keep her company by textin her whenever the manager wasnt around shoo- aint nobody tryna get fired. ...Speakin of fired...I got hired at that sandwhich joint. But FUCC DEM. Dey'll start me at $7.00/hr...no no no. I aint callin bacc for shyt. My job is better pay and more bomb. But the sad thing is...Deveion dont work there no more *sniff sniff. That was my homie man. Hes the guy version of me. I mean- u think IM ALWAYS CLOWNIN? Nah- meet Deveion. Boy is FOREVER CLOWNIN. But I guess what happened was...well we had another meetin at the end of the day fri and names were bein called off to determine which department u was gon b workin in. And Im a cashier =) Yippie. But D's name aint get called =*( So a lil later...he got called bacc into the managers office and he was arguin wit dem and he quit because his name aint get called cuz hes a TEMP. I was like wtf? nonono. that aint even right. how the hell u gon have someone work their ASS off to only fire them once the store opens. are u stupid? shyt. i wuda quit too but Im good u know? So no more Deveion Allan Buckner. lol. gosh. I feel like cryin. work is not gonna be the same without him. he makes our breaks EXTRA fun. So yeah...we was on break this one day and theres this fat black grl that think Deveion is SOOO sexy n what nott so she always tryna flirt right? Well D's ass...uh uh..if u dont know him like that he is so fuccin mean. So he was like "Why she look like a hungry hungry hippo?" whewww I was rollinnn...den he added....She look like she done took forever stuffin her eight stomachs in those jeans. I was like HELLLLL nah. But yeah. Devys the homie. aheheh Anyways...for the weekend like I wrote before...I was in Wisconsin. Fri- got there around 11 Sat- woke up around 7, dressed, went to Noahs Ark which is actually pretty fun...especially since I was there wit my other half =) Shoo- we was roccin our swimmin gear. I wish we could of took fliccs but my DUMB ASS left the battery for the digital at home =( There was so much cute blacc guys. I was like oooooohhhweeee hahah lemme get closer. So u know how I dont know how to swim right? Well...Vouen...one of the stepfam...me/julie/him was in the wave pool watever...and we kept goin to 6 feet and I was about to choke on the water so I jumped on him n started yellin for him to take me back. I looked real stupid but shoo- no no no...who told u I could swim? Dey was all rollin...even that cute blacc dude. heheh. Well we was there from 9-11:30 or somethin..not too long. I got sun tan lines =( I want my legs to b darker. they're sooo light its eew. But in the sunlight I be glowin heheh. Im serious. Ur complexion juss looks OH SO RIGHT yanno? Anyways...we cruised alot but we watched Red Eye around 8/9. das a bomb ass movie. I dun care what no one say. My heart was poundin thruout. Plenty of suspense =P Sun- woke up and was pissed as hell at Bugs Bunny. I was heated man. She was lucky as HELL that I didnt snapp bacc just outta respect for the fact that her mom/brothers/sisters...watever was all there. But so tell me why this lady was forreal tryna bad mouth me?!?! my god. no no no no no. and all for no fuccin reason. omg. fucc it. dont wanna b reminded. im tired as it is. But got home around 3. --Work this whole week... 9-5:30, but I think I might juss go into overtime. I need more dough man. Labor day weekend comin up and its gon b jammed pacc wit events. And plus I get paid overtime so das like 10.87 an hr =) So plans... 27th- Shopp at MOA wit Rienny/Ocinda/Julie 2nd- Valleyfair 3rd- Statefair 4th- Clubbin...dey havin a bash so yuppp Now I needa go get ready. Im bout to go kicc it wit Rienny. Bye Bye. post comment

[14 Aug 2005|06:55pm] [ mood | =) ] Lord tell me why...my body aches like WHOA. oh no. no no no no no. Who told dem I could lift boxes? My goodness. Work is crazy. Im really not use to workin, that bein this is my FIRST OFFICIAL JOB. hey hey- department store. 7.25/hr. Weekly pay. 2-15 min breaks/1-lunch break ANDDDDDDDD I work wit my boys...Owen and Deveion. We bout to dominate that store. It aint even opened until...Sept 3rd yet dey already got ppl workin their asses off. Im tellin u. My interview was on Fri...I got hired and den started that VERY next day. So I worked: Sat- 9 to 5 Sun- 9 to 5:30 And now I gotta work...Mon/Tues/Thurs/Fri- 9 to 5 Weds...Im not sure yet...I have a Drs Appt. But the weekend...I have off YIPPIE =) Only because Im goin to Wisconsin wit my parents/stepfam/best friend. We goin to Noahs Ark. I cant even swim ahaha. But the same routine wen I get bacc startin Mon =/ Dey gon call it overtime if I work more than 40 hrs...so....yeah. HEY HEY. hahha. Yesterday..I went to work ALL RELAXED, and dey allowed u to continue thinkin u was gon feel that way for a while right? ticketin shoes...that was it. And den uh BAM. There we all was...unloadin the truck. With its 1000 boxes. Im tellin u. Hrs straight. Omg. My body was TOO sore. That is not what I applied for. But its all only temporary. Everyone has to pitch in and help set up the store. Its so...unfinished. Gives me a headache. Cuz wen u walk in there u know DAMN WELL & GOOD that in the stockroom there are 1 million boxes that needs to be lift to certain places and scanned. And den lift RIGHT BACC to the right department. And den u have to take all the plastic off the merchandise and hang em up watever and den check to see if everythin is correct and ticket it. No No No. Its a very long process. And this is all only because the store is just about to open. So..tell me why, I ticketed about 100 boxers today. Nah- Im dead serious. And den dem SEXXYY hahah boxers had to be hung. I was like O M G! I had to ticket a million thongs. lord. Its so annoyin. But all in all...work is work...and slowly Im learnin. Daddy is very proud of me...and das all I want. =) Anyways-- I need a review. Sun- I came home from my Grandparents Mon- I chilled wit Cray Tues- Rienny came around noon, dropped off my gift/card, Chavanni came, Dey trimmed my hair [ TRIM MEANS ONE INCH!! ], We left to Deveions, All 4 went to Brookdale, den to Northtown. Got dropped bacc at home around 5...Julie came...we left around 8 wit Cray to Riennys. Deveion/Chavanni/Kenny was there. Then we went to Jevonnes. I was drivin daddys eclipse. Stick shift babyyyy. Got home around 11? Snuck out around 1 or 2 to see our lil nurker. Julie slept over. Weds- Chavanni came to picc me/julie..went to Northtown for my interview. Stopped at Best Buy to see Rienny. Thurs- Went shoppin wit my parents. Fri- 1st time drivin Stepmommys car ALONE. Went to my interview. After...left around 8...was SUPPOSE to watch a movie wit Bay Bay and Jevonne but we wasnt all feelin it. We really didnt know what to do...so yeah...it WAS borin as fucc. SO we dropped em off and started cruisin. Since it was the first time she let me take her car out yanno? Me/Julie got lost in Plymouth thanks to Andrews ugly directions lol But we ended up in a TGIF there and got the delicious potato skins. mmmm I love em. After that, visited Andrew/Rupeash at work. HAD to get home around 12 due to work the next day. Sat- After work, the oldest came to pick up his son and we went bacc to 952. After 2 hrs of whatever...we finally got to Hais Graduation Party in 651. It was fun. But drama. Not too much. But some things were juss so unnecessary. Like how my brother had brought his WHOLE NL FAM and omg. Im tellin u, dey was deep as fucc. 8 cars!!! N oh lord...he got some sexy ass frens lol. He aint get along wit the bloods and Hais related to bloods so yeah. And me/lay/julie ended up rollin in his car and we accidently told him how Veesna was tryna start shyt by all the remarks he made den my brother got pissed as hell and start bitch at US. Like- "Why the fucc didnt yall tell me? How many times did I tell ur ass DONT EVER LET A NIGGA MOUTH U OFF, If he fuccin say sum shyt u dont like U FUCCIN TELL ME. Do u not know who the fucc I am, aint no nigga dare to fucc wit me, dey kno better" I was like OMG. He is trippin man. Den he went to tell his WHOLE DAMN CLICC that Veesna had sed some shyt to me...which he DIDNT omg. I felt so bad. Like- We bout to get a nigga paralyzed off of some unnecessary shyt. Dey rolled around Hais block like 3 times tryna circle dem. And den it was funny how- each of the EIGHT cars slowed at this one place juss to MEAN MUGG. hahah it was so funny. Anny was rollin wit RT. Me/Julie/Anny...we like the lil young kids lol. All spooked n shyt. But its all good. Nuthin happened. Thank goodness dey decided to drop it, only because it was Hais party and das disrespectful as hell. It wud make RT look HELLA BAD in front of her parents. But yeah anyways...RT and his fren FREsh brought me home. Dey some funny ppl. I swear- I was rollin too hard in that car. SOme white grls rolled by dancin so him/fresh drove up to their car and started bussin some funny moves heheh. Well I got home around 12 again. And den I didnt even get to sleep because Girlfriends was on...and oh no. I wouldnt miss that show for the world =P post comment

[08 Aug 2005|05:40pm] [ mood | yippie-- ] =) Yay...so Good News- Daddys gon buy me a car. Bad News- I cant get the eclipse until I been drivin for a while cuz he dont want me to crash in that car. He rather it be a diff. car. I got my eye on that car...but its Stick. Juss like the eclipse. But rather this car than that right? [knocc on wood 3x] Its only 6,000. So its not so bad. Yippie...me and Julie will both have a car in no time. This one is koo too right? I mean...I only have to drive it for a while. post comment

[07 Aug 2005|01:18am] [ mood | *yawns* ] damn i am juss never at home to sleep on my dear bed. So thurs...daddy/stepmom came to picc me up after gramps drop me n anny off in STP. Then Cray came over n we chilled for a lil bit. I ran outta laundry detergent n the sweet thing brought some over. heheh. Fri- awoke at 9...went to the mall w/ stepmommy, grabbed a swim suit [its brown ^_*], den grabbed 3 take out boxes at Chinese Gourmet...headed to daddys work, it was his break...ate there...left to get my picture taken but didnt work cuz she aint my DAMN mother...and den went to the bank...den went bacc home n nocced the hell out. Woke up at 5...because of the constant ringin of my fone. Called China bacc...tryed to figure out a plan...but it failed because BUGS BUNNY as we kno...is shady as ALL HELL. Den my bro/his fam came over...we were all chillin n talkin til 9. I decided to leave wit him cuz he sed I could drive his camry to go out. So yeah...but he let me drive his lexus...ahhh shyt I really wanna roll in that one day heheh its nicee. Its stick shift and he was tryna teach me. I do pretty good...for someone who only had 20 mins of learnin. My problem is...I release the clutch too damn fast. But hey Im learnin. Well- fri night....I juss ended up at my mothers because Bugs Bunny was trippin n shyt n my brother aint want her to get mad thinkin this n that so yeah...we scratched all that. But MY BIRTH AND ONLY MOTHER let me drive her big ass Toyota Sequoia to the store at 1 in the mornin...see Mommys koo. Sat- awoke at 12 due to the fone gettin blown up. Showered/got dress...I was gettin real irritated because ppl was rushin the hell outta me and NO! NO NO NO. never rush me. Me/Rt/Monkey had to drop Hizzle off at a gas station because her car was dead or sumthin...den after that we went to my brothers where everybody was meetin up. It was family picnic day. We was 8 cars deep hahah. I like it like that. Not everyone was FAMILY but yeah...dey considered family. We had a ball tho...the whole family gettin together? now das a once in a shootin star. We had every type of food out there, we was playin on the swings, me n julie took mommys car to cruise [ we found a campsite- hey hey ], we played frisbee, we was actin a fool on the playground, we was gamblin [ i lost 2 dollars heheh ], I ran into the lake wit the lil kids...man...it was fun. But tirin as hell. We didnt leave til...8..we was there for a good min. But yeah..we dropped mommy/monkey off at home den me/anny/julie took her car n left from 952, I drove to 651...den switched wit Julie...651 to 763...to see Bay Bay & Jevonne. As I was already feelin/guessin...Jibe was gon b on some other stuff...hes mad at me watever...but honestly, I cud really care less at this point cuz its like- watever u kno? 1- I may be wrong but it wasnt my intention 2- I have my license- nigga I dont need u lol 3- Schools bout to b on n craccin... so yeaaaaaaa. WATEVER. But we got to see the 2 craccheads anyways. Jibe was wit 2 of his frens from Chicago so he didnt wanna juss leave em n I understood that but I didnt really care- me/anny juss wanted to get home, cuz everytime im out wit Anny, the family b trippin..so none of us was tryna get caught in that bull. Julie was goin hysterical...shoo. Im serious. She forreal wanted to see Jevonne. I didnt really wanna see Jibe- hes dumb as hell. But wen he sees me its a diff. story...who told you to open my DOOR? uh BOO! hahah but watever...we saw em for a good 2/3 mins...and had to leave. Dropped Julie off in Stp den me/anny drove bacc to 952. My goodness...we found our way bacc to my mothers without gettin lost at all...Im tellin u...Im pretty good wit directions. =) Den Anny had a girly incident and she had to get some more tampons so we took gramps car to Cubs...yup. he trusses me unlike my stepmother. my goodness. Oh yeah...I was drivin daddys eclipse today. That car is soon to be mineeeeeee. I needa master it first. Soneta drivin sticc..NOW WHAT? =P I am at gramps wit Anny now...my goodness...I aint ever gon b home huh? daddy must b pissed as hell. post comment

Exhaustion... [04 Aug 2005|10:16am] [ mood | ooh ahh-- ] Mon- chilled w/ Jibe/Julie/Jevonne...ooh wow...all Js hahha. mm- we got busted by his grandma =/ which was OMG...so damn awkward. den had to leave. went to see Dre&Alex. den..went to see Phuong. We got bacc to Julies at 1. Tues- Hizzle grabbed us to go to Mickey Ds den to Jays house...saw my MONKEY/Anny..the fam...left bacc to Julie to finish the INVITES...went to Kinkos...met up wit RT at Como Lake...me/julie took hizzles car to some gas station for ice cream...left wit RT to my moms...went to Dennys [me/RT/Julie] , had a freak accident- and no it was not funny JULIE! den..got bacc around 2. Weds- Was still awake by 6AM...the time we had to leave for the Road Test...didnt work because we aint had the current card for the insurance...David/RT dropped us bacc at Annys. Chilled there...den walked to Julies...chilled there...til her parents started trippin like ALWAYS...my god. I feel like a criminal. IM SERIOUS! me/anny left bacc...got home at 10 =) had to wait for 4:20AM for our gramps. Thurs-Gramps picced us up all early...brought us to 952. Rt was on some other stuff...so he refused to bring me to take my road test so I got pissed and I called my older brother and told him, so he called RT and bitched at him...u kno...he had my bacc...RTS ass...no..always on other things. So Rt...me/Rt we have the utmost respect for our older brother...and yeah...Rt has to listen...he aint got no choice cuz i wuda been real quicc to dial my brothers number again. I complain so much, ppl juss dunno! mm hmmmm well Rt cudnt bring me cuz he aint over 21..the oldest was still at work...so gramps had to bring me =( But hey hey. I passed. The greatest feelin ever. My gramps let me drive the car bacc home too hehehe. Cant wait to rub it in daddys AND stepmoms face. My cuddie- I love u so much. I swear- U really dunno. We b clownin tooo much. Itd b how early/late in the mornin, our asses wud still b rollin. And u always so sweet. I kno u care for me so much. Always makin sure im comfortable and good wit watever yanno? I love u cuddie. Thanks for believin in me =P Now we can go see yo LIL MAN lol. --I needa go home..havent been there in 3 days. Daddys gettin a lil upset...cause he MISSSSS me heheh. I love my daddy so much. He called my brothers lookin for me...the oldest didnt kno so he called Rt...Rt aint kno so he was gettin bitched at by my older brother. So den Rt decides to call ME and bitch at ME...Im like...forreal? ur DUMB ass. my god. ---I need to go job huntin...my father keeps trippin n hes pissin me off. post comment

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